


What Do You Have Left

by TheGreatCatsby



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Quinx squad cameo, Tokyo Ghoul: re
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 19:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3500714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatCatsby/pseuds/TheGreatCatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A strange illness has started affecting the fringes of the ghoul community. It doesn't seem like a threat, until the illness comes to :Re's doorstep, and the only person capable of helping doesn't remember any of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Do You Have Left

**Author's Note:**

> This fic pretty much comes from me wondering why Nishiki was a pharmacy student if there is no medical system in place for ghouls. And ghouls get injured, and they can heal pretty easily from that, but what if ghouls got sick? What if there was an illness that had adapted itself to survive in ghouls? It would have to be pretty serious. And there's nothing that says it can't happen. But if it were to happen, where would a ghoul find a cure? 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this, even with it's bad fictional science!

The door burst open and Touka heard someone croon, “Bonjour, mes amis.” She and Yomo turned towards the door as one, glaring at Tsukiyama. 

They didn't reject any ghouls who came into their cafe. But that didn't mean there weren't ghouls that they hoped wouldn't show up. 

“What do you want?” Touka asked, glancing around the cafe. There were no other customers. It was the time of day when everyone was either working or at school. 

“I just wanted to bring news,” Tsukiyama said. “There are rumors--” He stopped, sniffing the air. “That scent...is familiar.” 

“Yeah, people you know work here,” Touka said, folding her arms over her chest. “Now before someone else comes in, what do you want?” 

Tsukiyama held up a finger. “No, this is important. Mon dieu, this brings me back. I smell him.” His eyes widened. “Kaneki...” 

Touka and Yomo exchanged a look. 

“He was here,” Tsukiyama said. 

“We'll tell you about Kaneki if you give us your news,” Touka said. 

“Bien.” Tsukiyama smoothed back a stray piece of purple hair and took a deep breath. “Tres bien. I've heard rumors that a sickness is spreading through the wards. Ghouls falling ill. Some recover, some don't.” 

“What kind of illness?” Yomo asked. 

“I don't know. I make it a point not to go into those dark corners where degenerate ghouls skulk around doing who-knows-what.” 

“Why tell us?” Touka asked. 

“You don't want to get sick, do you?” Tsukiyama said, raising an eyebrow. “I'd be careful. Unless you know a ghoul doctor, and I don't.” 

“And you know everybody,” Touka muttered, rolling her eyes. 

Tsukiyama crossed the room and leaned against the counter. “So. Kaneki-kun?” 

Touka sighed. “He's been with the doves this whole time. Doesn't remember anything.” 

Tsukiyama turned to Yomo, who nodded. “And he comes here?” 

“They like coffee,” Touka said with a shrug. “It isn't like we don't allow humans here.” 

“Does it worry you?” Tsukiyama asked. “After all, when the doves started visiting Anteiku, well, we all know how that ended.” He tapped his fingers against the counter. “May I have a coffee?” 

“Don't tell me you're going to start hanging out here,” Touka snapped, even as she went to start making his drink. 

“When does he come?” Tsukiyama asked. 

“Irregularly.” 

“Hmm.” Tsukiyama smiled at her. “I wouldn't be a bother.” 

Touka rolled her eyes. “You always are.” 

*

Touka had never been sick. She'd never known ghouls to get sick. It happened, according to Yoshimura, but ghouls tended to have better immune systems than humans. And ghouls also tended to not have a place to go if they did get sick or injured. Hospitals and health care centers weren't open to ghouls, and outside of the CCG there weren't many scientists who knew about ghoul biology. And those that did probably weren't working in their best interests. 

It was part of the reason why Anteiku existed. Ghouls didn't have a support system, and a lot of ghouls needed one. It was the reason why, after Anteiku ceased to exist, Touka got together with Yomo and decided to open another cafe, :Re. It wasn't just a coffee shop. Even if it had been, she found coffee shops supportive. Places where people could talk and feel safe. 

Ghouls had no stake in the world of medicine, which is why she found it weird that Nishiki had been a pharmacy student. She'd told him, “For someone who doesn't trust humans, you sure help them a lot.” 

And he'd just said, “Shut up. I can do what I want.” Which wasn't really an answer, but she left him alone. 

Most of the staff of Anteiku disappeared after the raid, only popping up now and again when they wanted to say hello or needed a safe place to rest. And Touka and Yomo gave it to them. Surprisingly, Touka found herself able to handle most of what the ghouls in the 20th ward threw at her. 

So it made sense that something would go wrong eventually. 

*

The next day neither Tsukiyama nor Sasaki Haise showed up, which was a relief. It meant Touka didn't have to be on guard. She could just enjoy serving customers and making good coffee. Good days were the days she could forget that there was a conflict between humans and ghouls. 

This was a good day. 

And then, about two hours before closing, she turned around from replenishing the coffee filters to find Nishiki leaning against the counter. 

He grinned at her. “Shitty Touka,” he said. 

“Don't call me that,” Touka snapped. “Besides, you're the one who looks shitty.” It was true. Nishiki looked exhausted. 

He glared at her. “Is this how you treat all your customers?” 

“Just the shitty ones.” 

“Touka,” Yomo said, emerging from the back room. “This is no place for that kind of talk.” 

Nishiki and Touka both stared at him. Yomo added, “Why are you here?” 

Nishiki adjusted his glasses. “I need a safe place to rest,” he said, his voice quieter so that none of the customers would hear. 

“Is that because you've spent the past three years making enemies?” Touka asked. 

Nishiki narrowed his eyes. “Gathering information and hunting down trouble makers.” 

“There is an extra room in the back,” Yomo murmured. “Third door on the right.” 

“I hope you don't expect food,” Touka added. 

Nishiki pushed away from the counter and grinned at her. “I just might.” Before she could respond he went through the door to the back. 

“Idiot,” Touka muttered. “One day I won't let him stay.” That wasn't true. Nishiki had asked for their assistance numerous times in the past three years, and he would continue to ask in the future. And Touka had never refused him. She never would. 

“Something is wrong,” Yomo said. Touka glanced at him. His brow was furrowed and he was staring out the window. There was nothing out there of any interest. 

Touka shrugged and turned to the sink to start cleaning dirty cups. Behind her, Yomo said, quietly, “Tomorrow morning we should give Nishiki food.” 

“Why?” Touka asked. 

“He must need it.” 

Touka sighed. Yomo could be stubborn, and she wasn't going to argue with him even though Nishiki never asked for food when he came, just a place to rest. Sometimes they gave food to him anyway, especially if he was recovering from an injury, but most of the time they left him to his own devices. He was more than capable of finding meat for himself. 

Sometimes, he even supplied them with meat, when Yomo couldn't go out to get it himself. 

This was normal. This was all normal. It had happened before. Yet Yomo's unease started to bleed into Touka's thoughts, and by the time she went to bed that night, she was on edge, waiting for something to go wrong. 

*

It took seven knocks to get Nishiki to answer the door, and when he did it looked like he'd just woken up. He saw the two of them and the paper-wrapped package in Yomo's hands, and groaned. “Come in,” he said, and went to sit on the bed. 

Yomo placed the package in his lap, and Touka sat on the floor. Nishiki frowned at them both. “What is this?” 

“A thank you would be nice,” Touka said. Nishiki made a rude gesture in response. 

“You look unwell,” Yomo observed. 

“I'm tired,” Nishiki said. “I've been running around, chasing after ghouls, trying to avoid fights, trying to keep track of what the doves are up to.” He sounded irritated. 

He'd never told them why he'd started gathering information and hunting down certain ghouls. Eventually, Touka stopped caring. Nishiki's information was useful. Having him as a go-between kept them one step removed from the ghoul population, which served to make :Re an even safer haven for ghouls in need. 

“When was the last time you ate?” Yomo asked. Now Nishiki looked a bit suspicious. Touka cast a questioning glance at Yomo as well, but he ignored her. 

Nishiki rubbed the back of his neck. “I dunno. A few weeks? I haven't been hungry.” He looked down at the package on his lap. “You want me to eat this now?” 

“What else are you doing?” Touka asked. 

“Sleeping,” Nishiki said. “Until you rudely woke me up.” 

“To bring you food, you ungrateful--” 

“Touka,” Yomo said. Touka bit off the rest of her sentence. 

“This is weird,” Nishiki said. “You both are weird today.” He unwrapped the package, revealing raw, red meat. Almost daintily, he tore off a piece and popped it in his mouth, chewing slowly. For a moment, a flash of what seemed like disgust crossed his face, and Touka was about to ask what was wrong, but then it disappeared and she wasn't sure she'd seen anything at all. 

He was halfway done when he asked, “Was there something wrong with this human?” 

“No,” Yomo said. 

“The taste is,” Nishiki grimaced. “It feels,” he swallowed, “almost like human...food.” He let the piece of meat he was holding slip from his fingers back onto the paper. 

“That's impossible,” Touka said, snatching the piece Nishiki had dropped and putting it in her mouth. Nishiki watched her, his face becoming pale, as she chewed and swallowed. “It tastes good. What's wrong with you?” 

“I...” Nishiki looked down at the package in his lap, then with shaking hands, picked it up and held it out to Yomo, who took it. His face was unreadable. 

“Well?” Touka asked. “It's not like you can become human suddenly.” 

Nishiki didn't answer her. He had gone very still. 

“Touka,” Yomo said. 

Touka turned to him. “What?” 

Nishiki suddenly bolted from the bed and rushed into the bathroom. Touka opened her mouth to ask what the hell was going on when she heard him retch and vomit. 

“Damn,” she said. Yomo brushed past her into the bathroom, where he leaned against the wall. Touka followed him, stopping in the doorway and staring at Nishiki kneeling in front of the toilet, emptying his stomach. 

She looked at Yomo again to see what she should do. Yomo purposefully avoided her gaze, watching Nishiki instead. Nishiki stopped retching, groaned, then turned to see the two of them standing there. 

“What is wrong with you?” he asked, his voice hoarse. “Why are you staring at me?” 

“You're sick,” Yomo said. 

Nishiki rolled his eyes. “What made you think that? Fantastic detective-work, Yomo. You could be employed by the CCG if you weren't a ghoul.” 

“Tsukiyama told us of an illness spreading through the ghoul population,” Yomo said, “although none were near the 20th Ward, and most of the ghouls affected were...” 

“Peasants,” Touka said. 

“He did not say peasants,” Yomo said. 

“They could have been, for how he talked about them. And damn Nishiki has brought this illness to us and endangered the shop!” 

“Wait a second,” Nishiki said, “I didn't know I was sick. I was just tired. Besides, isn't it your job to help people?” 

“So you're okay with possibly wiping out the whole of the 20th Ward?” 

“Of course not,” Nishiki snapped. “I'm not an idiot. I'll leave now if that's what you want and you can isolate yourselves.” 

“Why don't you do that,” Touka said. 

“So you'd rather release me into the public so I can get more people sick?” Nishiki asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Touka,” Yomo said. 

“We don't even know how this disease works,” Nishiki added. 

“Exactly! You could have doomed us all already.” 

“Touka--” 

“Well, if I die, at least I'll have dragged you with me,” Nishiki said, smirking. 

“I swear, if we get sick, I will kill you before the disease does,” Touka growled. 

Nishiki laughed. “I'll be on my way, then.” He made to rise, but swayed and fell back to his knees. And then he began retching again. 

“Touka,” Yomo said, “he needs to stay here.” 

Touka's eyes widened. “Why?” 

“He needs us,” Yomo said. “We can help him.” 

Touka groaned. Yomo had a very simple logic. Or at least, what he said was simple. She knew he thought a lot more than he spoke. But they had opened their shop with the purpose of helping other ghouls, and here was one who had been part of Anteiku. And he hadn't known he was sick when he came. Just tired. She could see where Yomo was coming from even if she didn't agree. 

“I might stay in here for a while,” Nishiki muttered. “Then I'll go.” 

Yomo reached down to touch Nishiki's cheek, and pulled his hand away with a frown. “He is hot.” 

“Now what?” Touka asked, wondering what humans he'd learned that from. She didn't think Yomo had ever interacted with humans before. 

“Now,” Yomo said, “we run the cafe.” 

*

Just because there was a problem didn't mean that the cafe could close. It needed to run like a normal cafe, and a sudden closure would raise suspicions. Perhaps not many, but any suspicion cast on them was too much. So Touka and Yomo spent the day making coffee and hoping that they wouldn't go into the back to find Nishiki dead in the bathroom. Even Touka, who barely tolerated him on the best of days, was worried about him. 

They finished closing the shop and Yomo said, “I have to go.” 

“You're leaving me with him?” Touka asked, horrified. 

“I'll be back soon,” Yomo said, and then he was gone. 

“Bastard,” Touka muttered. She turned to the door leading into the back. Just a few steps and she'd find Nishiki in some state of sickness. She thought of not checking on him at all. She didn't want to get sick herself. But at the same time, Nishiki might need care. 

She looked around for things that could be useful. She'd never cared for a sick person, but she figured it was similar to caring for someone who was injured. She grabbed a few clothes and a glass for water, and considered bringing cans of coffee, or the sugar cubes infused with human meat. But if Nishiki couldn't stomach anything, it would be useless. She'd stick to water for now. 

Bracing herself, she made her way towards Nishiki's room. 

He was still in the bathroom, slumped against the shower door. A sheen of sweat coated his forehead, he was pale except for his cheeks, which were flushed, and he had drawn his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He shivered, and when Touka placed her glass on the sink, he turned his eyes on her. 

“Touka,” he said, breathlessly, “how nice of you to join me. I thought you two had abandoned the place. Sectioned it off. Like a quarantine.” 

“What are you talking about?” Touka asked. She wet one of the clothes with warm water and tossed it at Nishiki. It landed on his knees and he frowned at it. “For you, nitwit.” 

“For what?” 

“Comfort? I don't know. Humans do it when they're sick.” Touka filled the glass with water and knelt down on the floor, sliding it towards him. He stared at it for a moment, then looked up at Touka, who sighed and sat down. “Isn't there anything you can do to help yourself?” 

“Why should I know?” 

“You were a pharmacy student,” Touka snapped. “Didn't you learn anything?” 

“For humans,” Nishiki said. “They don't teach ghoul biology. Didn't you know that?” 

“Yeah but surely some of them cross over.” 

“Well since it would've raised suspicions if I'd experimented on a ghoul, I didn't,” Nishiki said, looking frustrated. “If I were human, I would know what to do. But I'm not, okay?” 

“You worked with medicines--”

“For humans. We can't ingest them.” 

“How do you know that?” 

Nishiki laughed. “How do you think?” 

Touka's eyes widened. “You tried human medicine? Idiot!” 

“You're the dumbass who ate your best friend's cooking,” Nishiki countered. “We all do things we shouldn't.” 

“But someone has to know,” Touka said. “There are smart ghouls out there. There are humans sympathetic to ghouls.” 

Nishiki closed his eyes, sighing. “Yes, there are. But not in the right places.” He opened his eyes. “You might as well leave. This is boring.” 

“Why don't you go to bed?” 

“Why don't you?” 

“Mature.” Touka rolled her eyes and stood up. “Fine. Stay there and be uncomfortable for the rest of the night.” 

She turned to leave when Nishiki said, softly, “I can't stand.” 

Touka turned back around, eyebrows raised. “What?” 

“Do you need your hearing checked?” Nishiki gritted his teeth. “I. Can't. Stand.” 

Touka started towards him but he held a hand out at her. “What?” 

“You can get sick if you get too close,” he said, “or if you touch me. You can't do anything stupid.” 

“I can do what I want,” Touka said, but she stayed in place. 

“No,” Nishiki said, “because, idiot, we'll be letting this sickness do the CCG's job for us if we all get...” He cut himself off. 

“What?” Touka asked. 

Nishiki waved a hand at her. “Never mind. Where's Yomo?” 

“Out.” 

“Ach. He'd be better company.” 

“He wouldn't talk to you.” 

“Exactly.” 

They glared at each other in silence. 

Then Touka said, “Will it kill you?” She'd meant it as sort of a cutting joke. 

But when Nishiki responded, he was completely serious. “It's killed most of the ghouls who've gotten it, because they can't get treatment. I should have been more careful with who I got information from, but I guess it doesn't matter now.” 

Touka felt her throat grow tight, and suddenly the bathroom seemed too small. She turned and rushed to her room. 

A few hours later she heard Yomo return, but she didn't move from her bed. 

For the first time since the Anteiku raid, she was genuinely scared. 

*

Yomo knelt down in front of Nishiki and put a hand to his forehead. Nishiki met his eyes. 

“I was told,” Yomo said, “that the best bet of a cure lies with the ghoul experts at the CCG. Those scientists have spent long hours learning about ghouls.” 

“I know,” Nishiki murmured. “They've learnt how to kill us.” 

Yomo sat down next to him. “There's also a rumor going around that the CCG is responsible.” 

“No,” Nishiki said. “I thought that, too. But no. They have a ghoul on their team. Half-ghoul. Still ghoul enough.” 

Yomo nodded. “Have you tried sleeping?” 

“What do you think?” Nishiki rested his forehead against his knees. “It hurts.” 

“What hurts?” 

“My bones. My head. It won't let me rest.” 

Yomo nodded again. “Hmm.” 

“Hmm what?” 

Yomo didn't answer. 

“There's no chance, is there?” Nishiki said. “I'm supposed to be a genius and I can't see a way out of this.” He sighed. “That isn't true. I can see an idiotic way out of this. It's the doves. And damn Kaneki or whatever he's calling himself these days.” 

“He comes here,” Yomo said. 

Nishiki lifted his head. 

“I will speak to him.” 

“When he recognized me,” Nishiki said after a moment, “he went nuts. Tried to kill everything in sight. Out of control, like he was before the raid. Completely useless.” He buried his head in his arms. “Good luck.” 

*

When Touka learned about Yomo's plan, she was furious. “You could expose us,” she said, “if he doesn't recognize us. Even if he does. Or he'll just kill us himself. We can't trust him. How do you even know he'll come in? He doesn't come every day. We could be waiting forever. Nishiki could be dead. We could get sick. You can't rely on Kaneki. He wanted to protect us before and he didn't. He hurt us!” She stopped, breathing hard. 

“He will remember you,” Yomo said. And that was all he said on the subject. He walked away, went to set up the cafe, and left Touka there, stunned. 

Kaneki, or Sasaki Haise, as he was calling himself now, didn't come into the cafe that day. Touka let Yomo deal with Nishiki. She was trying to get her head around what they were about to do. It could put them in danger. And she didn't want to have to leave behind the new life she'd carved out of the remains of Anteiku. 

The next day, Haise came in with a group of investigators. Yomo slipped him a message on a napkin when he brought them their coffee, and when Haise stood up and told his companions that he was going to take a few minutes to himself outside, Yomo followed him. 

Leaving Touka by herself to look after the cafe. 

Haise's companions continued talking amongst each other. Touka observed them, wondering what kind of people were surrounding Haise in his new life. There was a young man with sharp teeth who actually seemed quite anxious, fidgeting and eyes darting around the cafe. Another man with an eyepatch, who looked gentle and reserved, like Kaneki had been. A third man who seemed sullen and withdrawn from the rest of the group. And a young woman dressed rather sloppily for an investigator, who was devouring a small cake. 

Touka had heard rumors about these people. The Quinx squad. They had implants inside of their bodies that brought them dangerously close to being half-ghouls. But they just looked like normal people. Touka wondered if they struggled with the same thoughts Kaneki had struggled with when he first came to Anteiku. If they wondered whether they were still human, or if they were becoming monsters. If it even bothered them. 

More customers came in and Touka was grateful for the distraction. 

*

“Are you calm?” 

Haise frowned. “Yes.” 

Yomo nodded. “I know you've forgotten your past. I won't force you to remember it.” 

Haise shifted on his feet. “You knew me,” he said. 

Yomo nodded. 

“Why tell me now?” Haise asked. “I've been here before.” 

“We need help,” Yomo said. “You're the only one we know who can help us.” 

Haise's eyes widened. “Me? How?” 

“I need to know that you won't lose control.” 

“I...I don't know.” 

Yomo scrutinized him for a moment. 

“I have this,” Haise said, reaching into his pocket, “if it helps.” He pulled out a syringe and handed it to Yomo, who stared at it. “RC suppressant,” he added. “For some reason, I trust you with it.” 

Yomo put the syringe in his pocket. “Follow me,” he said. 

He led Haise back into the building through a back door, and into a bedroom. The bed was messy, covers tossed aside. The room was in darkness. The curtains on the windows had been closed to block out any daylight. On the far side of the room was another door. 

Yomo glanced at the bed, sighed, and went for the bathroom. “I put you in bed,” he said. 

Haise followed Yomo and stopped at the door, once he caught sight of the person slumped against the shower. 

“Breakfast didn't go well,” Nishiki murmured. He turned his head to look at Yomo and his eyes widened. “Is this a hallucination?” 

“Serpent,” Haise breathed. “Nishio...” He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Yomo placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“You don't need to remember everything,” he said. “Just what you want to remember.” 

“It's hard,” Haise said. His voice sounded strained. 

“Is this real?” Nishiki asked. “Kaneki?” 

“Haise.” 

“Huh.” Nishiki closed his eyes. He was shivering. “Hallucinations don't talk back, do they?” 

Yomo moved forward and grabbed Nishiki, pulling him up. Nishiki's knees buckled, but Yomo managed to keep him upright, supporting him and leading him out of the bathroom. He settled Nishiki on the bed. Nishiki curled on his side. He looked pained. 

“What happened?” Haise asked. He remembered the last time he saw Nishiki. He'd impaled him. “Is this my fault?” 

“No,” Yomo said. 

“For once,” Nishiki muttered. 

“There is a sickness spreading throughout the ghoul communities,” Yomo said. “At first it spread amongst weaker ghouls. Nishiki was exposed while gathering information. None have recovered.” 

Haise stared at Nishiki. “How long have you been like this?” 

“A couple of days,” Yomo said. 

“But you have the cure,” Nishiki said, opening his eyes. He reached out, his hand grasping the hem of Haise's shirt. 

“I don't,” Haise said. He couldn't pull himself away. 

“You have the science,” Nishiki said. “Ghoul science. How do they cure your illnesses?” 

“I don't get sick,” Haise said, frowning. 

“They must know,” Nishiki said. “In case...in case your squad gets sick. Or infections. Wound infections. You can't just...die.” 

“I don't know.” Haise looked at Yomo. “I...” 

“Your job is to get rid of us,” Yomo said. “But you were one of us, before. We're asking for your help because you are our last option.” 

“You wanted to protect us, Kaneki?” Nishiki said. “Then protect us. Don't be a...a shitty protector.” 

“You've risked a lot, by telling me this,” Haise said. He ran a hand through his hair. “I...can try to find out something. Why would you trust me?” 

“You're a good person,” Yomo said. 

Haise looked down at his feet. “I don't even know if you're telling the truth. Technically, we're enemies.” 

Yomo shook his head. “We are not your enemies.” 

*

Yomo came to the front a few minutes before Haise came back in to sit with his squad. Touka kept throwing him questioning looks, but Yomo ignored her in favor of cleaning up after customers. After a few minutes, Haise and his squad left, and Touka grabbed Yomo and pulled him into the back hallway. 

“What happened?” she hissed. 

“He will try,” Yomo said. 

“Does he remember?” 

“No.” 

Touka let go of Yomo and stepped back. 

“I need to take care of something tonight,” Yomo said. “Can you look after Nishiki?” 

Touka stared at him. “What are you doing?” 

“Forming a back up plan.” 

Touka sighed. “Fine. Why not?” 

“Thank you.” Yomo turned and went back out front. 

Touka leaned against the wall and tried to gather herself. She wanted to yell, or kick something, or go running after Haise. But the only thing she could do was go back out there and serve coffee. 

On days like today, it felt like that wasn't enough. 

*

Later that evening, after the cafe had been closed, Touka entered Nishiki's room with a cup of coffee infused with a special sugar cube. He was still curled up on the bed, moaning, his arms wrapped around himself. He didn't seem to notice her as she placed the coffee cup on the bedside table. 

“Nishiki,” she said. 

Nishiki opened his eyes, but seemed unable to focus on her. He was shaking. 

“Shit,” Touka muttered. Of course Yomo would be gone when Nishiki got worse. 

She made to stand up when she felt a tug on her shirt sleeve. She turned to see Nishiki's hand weakly grasping at the fabric of her clothes. 

“Kimi?” he breathed. 

Touka sighed and knelt down next to the bed. “No.”

“It's fine,” Nishiki said, his words coming out slurred. He dropped his hand back onto the bed. “It's—ah—fine. I just need rest.” 

“Nishiki--” 

“Don't be stupid, Kimi. Just rest, that's all.” 

Touka closed her eyes. She wanted to tell him that she was Touka, not Kimi, but she couldn't quite bring herself to do it. 

Another moan of pain made her open her eyes. Nishiki had pressed his face into the pillow to muffle the sounds he was making, but it didn't matter, since Touka was right there. The moans increased in pitch, and then, Nishiki screamed. 

Touka scrambled to her feet, then realized she didn't know what to do. Nishiki cried out again, an agonized sound. He began to writhe on the bed. 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Touka hissed. 

The sound of heavy knocking made her spin around. 

“SHIT!” 

If she let someone in, they'd hear Nishiki. But a large part of her wanted to get away from him, because she hated just watching, unable to help. 

She rushed towards the front door and swung it open. Haise stood there, eyes wide, taking in her panicked appearance. 

“Is Mr. Yomo here?” he asked. 

“No,” Touka said. “Anything you have to say to him, you can say to me. We run this place together, you know.” 

Haise nodded. “Can I come in?” 

Touka stepped aside, closing the door behind him. He stood there, awkwardly. 

“You seem upset,” Haise said. 

“Really? What gave it away?” Touka pinched the bridge of her nose. “Sorry. There's a lot happening and then you waltz in like it's normal and it's not, because you aren't you, you don't remember any of this. You don't even know my name.” 

Haise looked away. “I'm sorry.” 

“And you're always so damn sorry,” Touka snapped. “Always blaming yourself, trying to be some sacrificial hero, and you're not. You're just...you don't even know what I'm talking about. And for once you have the opportunity to protect us and you can't, can you? For once we need you, and you can't.” 

Haise didn't say anything. 

“I'm Touka,” Touka said after a moment, angrily wiping at her eyes. “What do you want?” 

“I think there is something in the labs that could help,” Haise said after a slight hesitation. “But it's experimental. And locked away. I can ask to take a look, just to know, for the sake my team. And try to take some without anyone noticing. I don't know if it'll work on a full ghoul.” 

“It isn't like we have anything else,” Touka said. Nishiki's cries could still be heard through the walls. 

“He's in pain,” Haise said. 

“No kidding,” Touka said. “And we have nothing.” 

Haise glanced at the door. “Can I see him?”

Touka hesitated. It wasn't that she thought Haise would hurt Nishiki. It was just strange, to see him around. It was painful. The way he looked at her was painful. 

“Fine,” she said, and started walking back to Nishiki's room. 

Nishiki was still in distress. Haise observed him for a moment, then went and sat on the bed. 

“Hey!” Touka couldn't quite hide her shock. 

Haise maneuvered Nishiki so that his head rested in his lap. He threaded his long fingers through Nishiki's hair. 

“K-kane-ki,” Nishiki gasped through chattering teeth. 

“Yeah,” Haise said. 

Nishiki cried out as another wave of pain wracked his body. Haise kept calmly stroking Nishiki's hair, and Touka watched, stunned. 

Occasional bursts of pain tore through Nishiki, but he'd calmed down quite a bit as a result of Haise's ministrations. He seemed to be falling into a fitful sleep. 

“How?” Touka asked. 

“Some of my squad members are not...they're young. Not like investigators,” Haise explained. “They need comforting sometimes. They're like family. I do what I can to help them.” 

“Don't you have to train them?” Touka asked. “Don't you have to be tough?” 

“I am,” Haise said. “But not everything is a training exercise. And they don't have loving families. I try to be that family.” 

Touka nodded. “You haven't really changed, have you?” 

“I don't know.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes. 

Haise shifted Nishiki so that his head rested on some pillows. He stood up, and Touka stood with him. 

“Can't you stay?” she asked. 

“I can't,” Haise said. He almost sounded sorry. “It will be suspicious if I don't go back.” 

“Right.” 

Haise gave her a small smile. “Until next time?” 

“Yeah,” Touka said. Haise left, and she heard the front door open and shut a few minutes later. 

She turned back to Nishiki, who was still asleep. There was nothing left but to wait. 

*

Touka's body was pressed against a hard surface. She groaned and lifted her head, opening her eyes. The surrounding area came into focus. She was on the floor of Nishiki's room, and someone had put a blanket over her in the night. 

She sat up, stretching her sore muscles. Yomo was sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the bed, looking tired and grim. It was then that she realized that the room was filled with a sound that made her feel on edge. 

Each breath that Nishiki took was a gasp that rattled in his chest. Touka stood up and saw that he was lying on his back, too pale, his chest rising and falling sharply. Too much effort for each breath. Nishiki's hands grasped weakly for something to hold on to, clawing at the blankets, his teeth clenched against pain. 

“We don't have much time,” Yomo said. 

“We don't know when he's coming back,” Touka said, folding her arms over her chest. 

“Stay with him today,” Yomo said. “I'll open the cafe.” 

“By yourself?” 

“He shouldn't be alone.” 

*

Each harsh breath that Nishiki took felt like a stab to Touka's chest. She hated this. Being helpless. She tried to read, but couldn't concentrate. She couldn't tell how long it had been since Yomo had left her alone. Hours, perhaps. And then a knock on the door. 

“Come in,” she said, not bothering to leave her chair. 

Haise slipped into the room, closing the door behind him. He glanced quickly at Touka before turning his attention to Nishiki. His eyes widened. 

“He's bad,” Touka said. “Are you just gonna look at him or do something?” 

“Yes.” Haise knelt at the edge of the bed and took a few small bottles of red liquid out of his jacket, as well as a syringe. Touka stood up to get a better view as he drew liquid from one of the bottles into the syringe. 

“What is that?” she asked. 

“The CCG scientists found a way to dissolve medicine in blood and RC cells,” Haise said, “so it's ingestible by ghouls. But I don't think Nishiki can swallow or hold things down.” Nishiki hadn't even woken up. “So I'm injecting it.” He took Nishiki's arm and straightened it out. “Touka,” he said, “after I do this, I want you and Yomo to drink this. Just in case you were infected.” 

“How did you get so much?” Touka asked. 

Haise gave her a rueful smile. “I stole them.” 

Touka smiled back. 

Haise found a suitable place for injection and readied the needle. 

“If this doesn't work,” Touka said, “he'll die.” 

“Are you close?” Haise asked. 

Touka laughed, a little bitter. “We were all close. Then the CCG destroyed our safe place.” 

Haise looked away and slid the needle under Nishiki's skin, then depressed the liquid. Touka watched as it disappeared into Nishiki's arm, and as Haise discarded the syringe. 

For a few moments, nothing happened. 

Then Nishiki started shaking. 

Haise felt Nishiki's cheek. “He seems very hot.” 

“He's had a fever,” Touka said. 

“It might be rising,” Haise said. “But it might break before it rises too far.” 

“Might,” Touka said. “I don't like that.” 

“All we can do is wait,” Haise said. Nishiki moaned, began to toss and turn. Touka went to sit down next to Haise. 

“Anyway, thanks,” she said. 

Haise handed her one of the small bottles of liquid. Touka snapped off the top and drank it in one swallow. It tasted mostly like human blood, with something bitter and sharp. Not sickening, just different. 

“You taught me how to make coffee,” Haise said. 

Touka stared at him. 

“I remembered that,” Haise said with a small shrug. “You taught me how to make it wrong.” 

“That's what you remember?” Touka asked. 

“It's only bits and pieces at a time,” Haise explained. “If I remember too much at once, I lose control. I'm still not sure I'll be able to remember everything.” 

“Why did you remember Nishiki?” Touka demanded. “Out of everyone. Why him?” 

“I don't know,” Haise admitted. “But I felt strongly about him. I had a flash of memory and saw him with a human, and I think why I remembered him is because I must have admired that about him. Even if we weren't as close as I was to other people, like you. I admired that he and a human could love each other when humans and ghouls were meant to be at odds. It's a peace I still want. I must have loved a human, once. I think we understood each other like that. But I could be wrong.” 

Touka looked down at her hands and nodded. She knew who he was thinking about, even if he didn't. “I had a friend,” she said, “who I had to leave. I wonder how she is, sometimes. I think Nishiki misses Kimi.” 

“Kimi,” Haise said. 

“His human girlfriend,” Touka said. “He didn't want her to be at risk by associating with him, not with the CCG closing in. I felt the same way about my friend. Yoriko.” She smiled, wistful. “I hope she's become a chef. That's what she wanted.” 

Haise nodded. For a moment, he looked like he was going to ask her if she knew who he'd loved and lost. “You should rest,” he said instead. “You must be tired.” 

Touka shrugged. “I'm fine.” 

“Yomo said you slept on the floor.” 

“I'm fine,” Touka insisted. 

“He told me to tell you to rest. In your bed.” 

“I'll sleep right here if I want,” Touka said. She stood up and left the room, returning with a blanket for the floor and some pillows. “Are you just gonna watch me sleep?” 

“I'm going to make sure Nishiki is okay,” Haise said. 

“Right,” Touka said. “Don't bother me.” She lay down, covering herself with the blankets and curling up. She must have been more tired than she thought, because she fell asleep within minutes. 

*

“I can't believe this. I can't believe of all people...this was stupid.” 

“It was the only way.” 

“So stupid.” 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Like shit. But not like dying shit. Ugh, I need to sleep.” 

Touka opened her eyes. The light in the room had been turned on for the first time in days. Slowly, she sat up. Nishiki was propped up with pillows. He still looked horrible, but he was awake, and aware, and that was better than he'd been in some time. Yomo was sitting in the chair next to the bed. And Haise was gone. 

“No thank you?” Touka asked. Nishiki turned to her, a bit surprised. 

“The man I want to thank isn't here,” he said. Touka glared at him, and he gave her a weak smile. “Thanks, damn Touka. And Yomo.” 

“Uh-huh.” Touka rolled her eyes. 

“Turns out Kaneki isn't completely useless,” Nishiki added. 

“Where is he?” Touka asked. 

“He went back,” Yomo said, “when Nishiki's fever broke. He couldn't stay.” 

“Will he come back?” 

“I don't know,” Yomo said. 

“It was rude of him to not say goodbye,” Nishiki said. He actually looked a bit upset. A bit like Touka felt. 

“He did leave you some extra medicine,” Yomo said. “He said you could study it.” 

“With what lab?” Nishiki asked, but there wasn't any bite to it. Touka could practically feel the curiosity radiating off him. He'd study it, somehow. Maybe even find a way to produce more, just in case. 

She stood up and muttered, “I'll be back later.” No one stopped her as she left the room, went down the hallway, and went into the cafe. 

It was night time, the lights were off. She made her way to the large windows looking out on the street and pressed her hands against the glass, looking out. The street below was empty, the orange-yellow lights lining the sidewalk shining on nothing. 

Haise was long gone. 

“You did it,” she said quietly. “You saved us. For once.” 

She hoped one day, she would be able to tell him that in person. Even if he didn't remember the times he hadn't been able to save them before. 

Perhaps that was for the best.


End file.
